The worst is over: my first exam is finished. The very early exam happened to be for the course which I was going to drop (or take as credit/no credit, which is equivalent to pass/fail on a transcript), but was dissuaded from doing so by my TA. I was going to drop this course because I wasn't getting the marks I had hoped for, and as a premed, marks are a top priority. Plus, the course was population ecology: being more of an evolutionary biologist than an ecologist, I was not entirely engaged in the lecture material. Nonetheless, I am glad that I kept the course, and left it as a regular graded course to count toward my cGPA, because my low mark served as a motivation for improvement. I was on overdrive studying for this 40% final exam because I knew I had to pull up my final grade by a whole letter grade. In the end, my insanely thorough studying had paid off, based on how I felt the exam went.
It's as though I relive each year, not having learned anything in the previous years of my undergrad. I still panic every time I get back a test or assignment with any mark less than satisfactory, even though I have managed to pull up my grade at the final exam every time. Even though I realize this, I don't let myself be complacent because I then think, "What if it's being anxious that's actually motivating me to study?" In that case, I am thankful for the healthy dose of anxiety I've trained my body to elicit. Whatever it is, I'm not going to change my methods now, at the end or near-end of my undergraduate career, because they've worked so far. (It's not an enjoyable aspect of the journey, though.)
Most of this will be over after my two exams next week (Monday & Tuesday), then I have one last exam on April 29. Following that begins my long anticipated NSERC summer research at the ROM! Chances are I'll get to tag along on a lab excavation trip to Alberta (Drumheller?) to dig up some dinos. I am especially looking forward to the summer after today's depressing hail storm... On that note, can May 14 be approaching any slower?!
No comments:
Post a Comment